Weekly Quiz

Darryl Dawkins, R.I.P.

In 2011, NBA Superstar Darryl Dawkins, known as Chocolate Thunder, visited Crane Lake Camp, a sleepaway camp in western Massachutsetts run by the Union for Reform Judaism. What type of class did Dawkins, who passed away this week, run for the campers?

AHe taught them how to shoot free throws.

BHe taught them how to shoot layups.

CHe taught them a class on how to apply Jewish precepts to basketball. For example, if one commits an intentional foul, are two free throws a sufficient penalty, or should the offender also be required to bring a sin offering to center court.

DHe taught them how to dunk the ball (though for this class, they lowered the height of the goal to 8 feet).

EHe taught them how to make a healthy fruit salad topped with Chocolate Thunder chocolate syrup.

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Ashley Madison

When Noel Biderman, CEO of the recently hacked adultery dating website Ashley Madison, introduced the site in Israel last year, what did he say?

Ashley Madison

A. “Before the launch of Ashley Madison in Israel, people had affairs, and when I leave, they’ll have affairs. So why not give them a social network where they can be together.”

BIm not telling anyone to violate the 7th commandment prohibition against adultery. Im just saying that it takes a Yiddishe kop to figure out how to make money off of people who are violating the commandment.”

CThe last time I was in Israel was for my bar mitzvah. I gotta say, my bubby was a lot happier that time.”

DI am happily married, and I have never cheated on my wife. But many Israelis have, so I hope theyll use Ashley Madison. And we do offer the option of specifying that you prefer a Jewish hook up.”

EI was going to incorporate in Israel as YentaTheNaughtyMatchmaker.com, but the Fiddler on the Roof people threatened to sue, so well just stick with Ashley Madison.”

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Donald Trump

In April 2015, Donald Trump tweeted that “Nobody but Donald Trump will” do what?

A. “…build a wall between the United States and Mexico that will put the Israeli West Bank security wall to shame.”

B“…personally pay to kosher the White House kitchen when the Israeli prime minister visits.”

C“…convince American Jews that they should vote for a Republican for president instead of the Democratic nominee.”

D. “…save Israel. You are wasting your time with these politicians and political clowns.”

E. “…attach payess to my hair/wig/whatever that thing is on my head when I march in the Celebrate Israel parade.”

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Jon Stewart

What was unusual about Jon Stewart's bar mitzvah?

Jon Stewart

A. Actress Bebe Neuwirth (known for her role as Frasier Crane’s wife Lilith) grew up in Princeton near Jon Stewart (then known as Jonathan Leibowitz). She is four years older than Stewart, and actually worked as his bar mitzvah tutor at the Princeton Jewish Center.

B. Stewart and his family were not religious and he did not have a bar mitzvah at age 13. When he started doing stand-up in New York in the mid-1980’s, he was taken under the wing of Manny Dworman, owner of the Comedy Cellar where Stewart got his start. When Dworman learned that Stewart had not had a bar mitzvah, he arranged for Jon to do so at the club on Stewart’s 26th birthday, which they billed as Jon Stewart’s Double Bar Mitzvah and Comedy Hootenanny.

C. Jon’s bar mitzvah parsha was Lech Lecha. In his speech, he quoted Chapter 17, verse 5 where God said, “Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham.” Stewart then said that God “called me last night and said ‘Neither shall thy name any more be called Jonathan Leibowitz, but thy name shall be Jon Stewart.’ So please make out the bar mitzvah checks to Jon Stewart. That’s S. T. E. W. A. R. T. Thank you and good Shabbos.”

D. He was on crutches because he learned the hard way that “playing basketball on a skateboard” wasn’t a good idea right before your bar mitzvah.

E. Jon’s parents had divorced when he was 11, and his mother struggled financially. Jon had a bar mitzvah at the Princeton Jewish Center, but there was no party. After the ceremony, his mother took Jon and his three brothers to lunch at Jon’s favorite restaurant, Arby’s, or as Jon called it, “Arby’s. The fast food restaurant that makes a Jew long for kosher meat.”

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Jonathan Pollard

In 1985, while Jonathan Pollard was working as a civilian analyst for the Navy, he removed classified material from his workplace. Recognizing that he might be caught, Pollard had set up a secret code with his wife Anne to signal her to remove the classified information from their home if necessary. When the FBI was alerted to the fact that Pollard had taken documents, they set up an interview with him. During the meeting, Pollard got permission to call his wife, and he used the secret code in the conversation, leading her to remove the stolen documents. What was the secret code that fooled the FBI?

ASabra.

B. Dayenu.

CUmp-day the Apers-pay, Ow-nay!

DPlastics.

ECactus.

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