Gefilte Fish

Ashkenazic Jews around the world traditionally serve gefilte fish at their seders. Gefilte fish is usually made by grinding fish such as carp, whitefish or pike, forming patties with matzah meal, eggs and onions, and poaching it. Which of the following are true gefilte fish stories?

Passover Seder 5771 - Gefilte Fish by Edsel Little is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

A. Donald Trump spoke at a rally in Brooklyn’s Chassidic neighborhood, Borough Park a few days before Passover. Looking out at the crowd, all wearing black coats and hats, he said, “Thanks for coming out today. I know that everyone is busy getting ready for Passover, like my daughter Ivanka, who you know is Jewish. I had a gefilte fish at Jared’s house last year. It’s a great fish. An American fish. Not like sushi, or ceviche. Gonna put a tariff on foreign fish. I have a great relationship with gefilte fish. Not like Hillary Clinton. You heard what the people said. Lox her up. Lox her up.”

BSaid rapper LL Cool J, “My grandfather was from the Bronx. He came home with gefilte fish every week. I didn’t like it, no disrespect, but I loved him.”

C. Comedian Seth Meyers said that his father, who was Jewish, loved gefilte fish and borscht. But Meyers said, “My brother and I thought it was disgusting. That is not gateway food if you want your kids to embrace Judaism.”

D. Terrell Suggs, an African-American linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens, spoke about how he managed to lose weight, saying “I like my fried chicken, my pizza, my peaches and my gefilte fish. I had to cut all that out.”

EActor Tiffany Haddish ignited a huge controversy in the entertainment world when she said in an interview with GQ, “There was this actress there that’s just, like, doing the mostest. She bit Beyoncé in the face.” Rumors swirled as to who committed this dastardly deed, and why? Denials came in from Lena Dunham, Jennifer Anniston, Frances McDormand and Amy Adams, among others. It was finally determined that the bite came from actress Sanaa Lathan, star of The Best Man, who admitted, “It was me. But I swear, it was an accident. I saw Beyoncé at a Barney Greengrass and she was eating gefilte fish. It looked so good. I mean, man, gefilte fish. I love gefilte fish. She was down to her last bite and I just couldn’t stop myself. I lunged for the fork as she raised it to her mouth, and I missed and bit her on the chin. I’m so sorry, Bey. But gee, I wish I could’a had that gefilte fish.”

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